Brand new blog.  I’ve done this before.   For those of you who don’t know me, there’s another, long dead blog out there chronicling my epic fail at weight loss and healthy living.

Fresh start.  New day.

I spent some time reading on that long dead blog today.  Some of it made me sad.  Some of it made me remember that I could indeed do this.

Something that struck me from one of the last posts there was this:

The one thing I had forgotten … was how CONSUMING eating and food is in my life when I’m OP. It’s all I think about. Literally, all the time. I think about what I’m going to eat next and at what time. It doesn’t matter if I’m hungry or not – it’s always on my radar.

And that ladies and gentlemen, is still my truth. Whether I’m actually doing OK, or eating like crap, I’m always thinking about food. It’s never ending. I sometimes wonder what will happen when I do lose the weight I want. Is food always going to be everything I think about? Surely this gets better??!?! But alas, that’s not something I can think about right now. I’m not even close to any goal weight I have for myself.

Because if I’m being really honest with myself, I’m almost 200 lbs away from where I want to be. How the hell does that happen? Slowly. In 2000/2001 I had lost 80 lbs. I gained all that back plus another 60lbs on top of that. I’m actually down around 40 lbs from my highest, and have been for a couple of years. I’ve been able to maintain that loss pretty easily. It’s just a matter of going further, losing more.

I have a motivation right now though. I’m going on a great vacation next April. I’ll be gone almost 21 days – Florida, TransAtlantic Cruise, Europe! Gotta love it. And while I know there is no way I can be at my goal weight by the time we leave in mid-April, I do know that I can make a ton of progress in 11 months and look and feel so much better than I do now. And really, the the most important thing for me is feeling better.

I rejoined Weight Watchers today. I’m doing 3 months of the Online program. I can do anything for 3 months right? Right. Until next time.